Empaths Guide to: Knowing How to Stop People Pleasing

Do you ever feel like you’re people pleasing in order to validate your value?

Do you care what others think about you?

Ever since we’ve been kids, we have been programmed to love praise and success. 

From your first words to your first steps, your parents and loved ones have been praising you when you did something good.

Fast forward 25 years, and you are still looking and longing for that praise and approval. 

Empaths are known for people pleasing because of how deeply they feel emotions.

They can sense when someone is upset, and because they want everyone to be living in a state of love and happiness, they will alter their behaviour to help others.

Check out more information on Empaths through these blog posts

How to Tell if Your Teenager is an Empath

Empaths Guide to: Practicing Self-Love

Empaths Guide to: Standing Your Ground

Empaths Guide to: Cleansing Negative Energy

You crave that congratulations speech and wait anxiously for that fame and glory that comes with a massive accomplishment. 

Now I’m not saying that praising kids for their accomplishments is bad, or that some of you messed up your children if you did. 

What I am saying, is that we haven’t outgrown that desire to please, and have finally started facing the consequences.

You have fallen into the validation trap. 

The trap that keeps you:

  1. from changing the way you behave

  2. acting to impress

  3. holding back as to not offend

  4. people pleasing

  5. saying yes to gain approval

We are living in a world where we care SO much about what others think of us, that we forget who exactly “us” is.

I came to this realization just last night. 

I had worked hard to make dinner for my family, clean up, bake, and much more. 

By the end of the night, I was angry I didn’t get a pat on the back or even an acknowledgment for my actions.

It was a crazy thought, and yet it made me think a little about people in general. 

You are told to be your own person, “you do you”, or whatever other catchy quotes are floating around. 

Yet, that very action also requires you to step out of the 25-year pattern of programmed thinking.